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| a big ol' peach, on our way to the Charlotte airport |
Days 20, 21, 22
Wednesday, November 9 (Day
20):
Whew! What a day! THREE shows at the Wilson Center at Florida State College, Jacksonville, FL! It’s midnight as I write this, sitting in
the back of the minivan, on the first half of a four drive to Miami Beach after
three shows! The Wyngate Hotel in
Jacksonville was beautiful with very comfortable beds, but we did not get to
enjoy it much! I got into bed by midnight Tuesday night, and was up at 5:30 am
today to tech before the 10 am show. I worked a bit on previous blogs, helped
tape the stage, chatted with the costumer, Lee (she was a National Guard, and
just the sweetest; very appreciative of our minimal demands of her), and got
ready for the show.
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| Costumer, Lee, steaming all our costumes |
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| Ellie & Sean in the airport, on our layover to Jacksonville |
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| Lucy, Chris, Nick in the airport, resting on our layover to Jacksonville |
And here is the link to Cameron, Ellie, and Ryan doing a brief but beautiful interview about the show. I am so proud to be represented this way, and proud to be associated with such talent and thoughtful people.
The 10 am show was as hard or
harder than the first one the day before: I just had to concentrate soooo hard
on not falling out before my first monologue. I dedicated this show to my
brother Jeff and his wife, Lania and imagined them out there; I just kept
coming back to that, and it helped me focus and perform the best I could. It
was a rather small audience of about 70 high school students, and they were
highly attentive and respectful. They seemed to be moved by the show.
Our break before the noon show
seemed very short; before we knew it, it was time to do it again. I was still
fatigued, and dedicated this show to my inlaws, Craig & Carolyn
Thornsberry, again imagining them in the house; having specific people to focus
on and “do the show for,” helps so much. This high school audience was even a
bit smaller, also very respectful, and seemed to be moved by the show; they
gave us a standing ovation. We did not do a talkback after either show, and I
miss when we don’t do it now, because there are often such great comments.
Our break after the show included
a very short nap, then checking out of
the hotel by 3pm, and then...? Well, the minivan I was driving wouldn’t start! So
we wasted about an hour and a half of what could have been time on the beach,
driving to exchange the vehicle (it eventually started, but groaned while doing
it). We drove about 20 minutes to the beach and had dinner at Joe’s Crab Shack;
it was windy and cold outside where we sat, but the view of the moon over the
water was amazing!
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| Sean, Nick, Damian, & Chris napping before the 10 am show. |
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| View of the ocean and moon at dinner |
The evening show (which I
dedicated to my dad, Jim Arrigo), was our first time in nearly a week of doing
the full (uncensored), 95 minute version; we hadn’t done this long version
since the previous Thursday, at Stockton College in NJ, so doing the missing letters was like greeting old friends after a long absence.
Nick, Kevin, Sean and I had a beautiful warm-up for the Cory Mracek
“scene,” and found some wonderful new colors of joy and happiness laced in with
the sadness, as we worked together before the show.
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| View of the seats from stage right at the Wilson Theatre, Florida State College in Jacksonville, FL |
This show included one of the
very best audiences of the whole trip; there were maybe 150 people there, and
they were the most vocal with their laughter; there is a lot of humor in this
show, and it seems that many people either don’t get it, or maybe don’t feel
comfortable laughing at what is – on the whole – quite serious material. They
also cried a lot. I had two things happen during the show that were new for me:
I had to leave the stage after my first monologue to go to the bathroom, as my
bowels were not going to make it through
the rest of the show (that burger I had for dinner did not do me any
favors). Also, I can pinpoint the
beginnings of my current cold, as it happened during this show when swallowing
began to hurt. Drat! It had to happen, with all this stress and
exhaustion. I’ve already had three
horrid, bold zits, and am on my second canker sore. The body can only withstand so much stress, and it
reacts. It could be worse, I
guess.
For me, the talkback was the most moving
we’ve had: There were many people who had served or had children or
husbands in the military, and shared their stories:
* There was a mom who had
multiple (four?) sons who had served or were serving, and thanked us for giving
the mother’s perspective;
* there was a woman who’s niece
keeps getting deployed and she and her sister haven’t been able to understand why she wants to keep going back, but she said that,
from the letters, she got some insight into the camaraderie her niece must
experience with her fellow soldiers;
* there was a woman who’s son had
served and she and he came together to see the show; he had never talked to her
about any of his experiences, but she said he was definitely having trouble and this
gave her some insight into what he might be going through; she felt that them
having seen this show together may help them begin a dialogue together;
* there was a teacher who had
been at one of the earlier school shows with her class, and came back with her
husband who had served prior to these wars; she wanted us to know that she feels it should be
mandatory for every high schooler in America to see this show before they
graduate, and she also said that the students had gone home and had amazing
discussions with their parents after seeing the show;
* and, the capper, there was an
older, retired British woman, who ended up having been a teacher to one of the
soldiers who's letters are featured in the show, and who was killed in action - Leonard Cowherd! She thought it might be
him, and then when she saw his Mother’s Day letter up on the screen, she
recognized his handwriting! Talk about moving; I pretty much lost it at that
point. Imagine how Nick, the actor playing Leonard, felt. Talk about
synchronicity; the Cowherds were from VA; we were in FL!
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| Damian and Nick with Leonard Cowherd's teacher and her husband |
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| Nick, Leonard Cowherd's teacher, and Bill |
We packed up and took the 4 ½
hour drive to Miami Beach; I did not drive as I was just so exhausted. It is
hard to sleep in the back (half of a) seat of a minivan with suitcases all
around and no pillow; but dangit, I think I got about two hours in! We got into
our hotel at 2:45 am, and got just three hours of sleep. (Can I get a grueling, somebody??!!).
Thursday, November 9 (Day
21!):
So. Up at 6 am for a 7 am call;
this was a hard day, as we were
functioning on so little sleep on the heels of 3 shows, and had 2 to do today.
We got through, and ended with a very powerful set of shows.
First, we all got
up earlier than we had to because Bill thought it was a 10 am show, but it was
actually 11 am! So, we went to breakfast at I-Hop (Bill’s treat; one of our
cast, Damian, actually went to go sleep in the van rather than eat; it says a
lot when fatigue trumps hunger!).
We got to the theatre and did all our regular
tech and group warm-up (we did a different warm up, where you send a clap
around the circle, incorporating intense eye contact and focus on the person to
your right and left, as well as the whole group). We did the shortened,
censored show for a very large group (filling the floor section) of what looked
like both junior high and high school; some of them were very emotional; they
were all very respectful, laughed, listened, and some cried. We got a standing ovation here, too.
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| View of the Duncan Theatre stage at Palm Beach State College from House Right; this was the first time we had a hanging screen which was not all the way against the back wall, so sometimes we were standing behind the line of the screen. |
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| Ryan, Chris, and Kevin napping it out in the green room |
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| View of the Duncan Theatre house from Stage Left (where I'm located throughout the show) |
So: The 3pm show was our final opportunity to do the full (uncensored), 95 minute
show (the two shows on Monday in PA are both the shorter version), and was for
the general public. This was my last opportunity on this tour to do the “scene”
for the Cory Mracek letter, (and the last opportunity for each other actor to
do their one other letter that was not their central, recurring soldier); it was an intense show partially
because we were saying good-bye to these people we've portrayed, at least for now. In our group
warm-up prior to the show, Bill once again brought in Leonard Cowherd’s uniform
(I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this? It was given to him/the tour by Leonard’s
family), and in his final speech before the full show, he said that he believes
the reason this show and tour continue and have done so well, is because there
are angels watching over us; and the angels are those about whom we speak, who
were killed, or who lost loved ones; and they sit on our shoulders as we tell
their stories. That packed a powerful punch. We all put our hands on Leonard’s
uniform in silence as we always do (Nick always takes the uniform for a moment
of private preparation).
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| Nick, with Leonard's uniform |
I dedicated this final long show
to my darling, patient, angel-of-a-husband, Brett, but also imagined each of the four
mother’s I portray, looking over me, and the two deceased soldiers (their
children - Corporal Matthew Commons, Sgt. Cory Mracek) sitting on my left
shoulder.
I must tell you, my show was different tonight: I was more connected
to Nancy Dickenson’s and Linda Chapman’s strength than ever before, more
relaxed when talking of Myrna
Bein’s loss and sadness than ever before, and better able to balance Cory
Mracek’s mom’s sadness and strength, than ever before. What a beautiful experience this show
was (despite having to go offstage numerous times to blow my increasingly-runny
nose; my cold fully-flowered during the course of this show!). We got another standing ovation. The talkback included a young veteran
from Iraq who said he was moved to tears a number of times in his seat, has
lots of friends still deployed, and appreciated our truthful telling of his
story and that of his friends.
We packed up, came back to the
hotel, I went to CVS and got some cold meds, and we sleeeepppptttt. After a
couple hours of rest some went out for food, but I stayed in and noshed on the
left-over green room food, talked to Brett, and watched some HBO on my iPad. I
took my Nyquil at 11pm, and slept almost 12 hours.
Friday, November 11 (day 22):
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| See the bride in the background? My room is just behind the trees to the right |
Today, it is beautiful and sunny
here in West Palm Beach, FL, and I’m looking out over the pool; there is about
to be a wedding here, so I look forward to hearing the music and the vows, and
then getting into the sun and maybe the pool, when they are finished. Most of
the cast (except for three of us), have gone to South Beach an hour away; but I need to get well, so chose to stay behind and have a very
quiet day (Lucy and Kevin are here also, and we three plan to have a nice
dinner later this afternoon/evening, somewhere close-by).
Before the group left, Sean and I had a really intense talk about some of our experiences in these three weeks. We discovered that we both experienced many of the same varied emotions - some of the same loneliness and struggle to connect with the cast as a whole. Here I thought I was experiencing so much of this alone, but in the 11th hour, come to find out I wasn't alone at all (and if I could have this same kind of conversation with others, I may find out that many of them felt some of this); and perhaps it is as much I, as anyone else, who contributed to my own feelings of isolation at times. Missing Brett terribly was a large part of it, yes; but withholding what I see as my true self due to group dynamics, may have been part of it, too; this will take some time to process, and I intend to learn from whatever the process brings.
What a learning experience! I will treasure the hard parts and the challenge, the sadness and loneliness, the spirit-soaring heights, and the growth in my own craft. This experience has been immeasurable in all ways; it's not over yet, but the hardest part seems to be over.
We fly into Chicago
tomorrow for a short 19 hours, before heading out early on Sunday for the last
leg of this tour – two shows in PA on Monday. I’ll post at least once more after that
trip.
“What a long, strange trip
it’s been.”
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