Winona, MN

I’m on a plane again! This time to Newark by way of Charlotte, NC; I guess the layover flights were cheaper than straight shots.

Update on Day 11 (Monday, 10/31): By the time we arrived at the AmericInn in Winona, it was dark, and with a huge bridge looming overhead, the hotel looked quite menacing. But, it did have a hot tub and pool and so after tech, everyone spent some time in the “spa” area and hopped back and forth between the hot and cool before turning in. (Well, that was after we got lost trying to return to the hotel without Bill, as he stayed longer to finish writing light cues for the longer evening show the next day; always an adventure!)

View from the plane 100 miles outside of Minneapolis airport

What fun! The National car rental folks were *ALL* dressed up for Halloween
in Minneapolis!

Beautiful MN sky!

It just couldn't be more beautiful.

Tuesday, November 1 (Day 12): The hotel and bridge looked absolutely stunning in the morning:

Winona in the morning

taping the stage and setting the lights at St. Mary's University

The weather was gorgeous in MN, with the leaves turning, sun shining, and a crisp but not cold fall day. We had two shows at St. Mary's University, and let me tell you, the first (10 am) show was a little rough: Everyone was clearly tired, and for me, it was kind of like pulling an anvil through quicksand; it really takes a lot of concentration to stand relatively still inbetween my monologues; I feel almost like fainting sometimes due to being tired and having to stand in semi-darkness on-stage. Mind over matter; mind over matter; don’t lock your knees; catch yourself when you begin swaying a bit. Sounds crazy, but that’s some of what’s going through my head in the long (half hour?) before my first monologue. I do try to concentrate on the other actors’ words as much as I can, as well as think ahead to my own upcoming monologue. 

Damian practicing during tech

My castmates all expressed how tired they were, too, and Bill was somewhat sympathetic, saying, “We’re about at the halfway point of the tour, and everyone now needs to begin to pace themselves, rest, and take care of themselves.”  He’s been through so many tours over the years, I’m sure he can see everything coming long before we do.  Bill has a very calm and quiet leadership quality, which is essential when organizing a crew of 10 mostly-young, heavily-testosterone-laced, and therefore often-rambunctious actors (with only three women, and only three aged 30 or above – yes, I’m the “above” – the testosterone levels are overwhelming! Did I tell you that when we’re on the road by car, four of the guys throw a football around any parking lot in which we stop – even if it’s just for a bathroom break or packing the car. I have yet to get a picture, but will attempt it).

The 10 am audience was mostly high school, and they were quiet and respectful, and, uh, somewhat responsive; there were quite a few not only sleeping (in the first row, no-less!), but slouching so much in their sleep that they seemed to be slipping out of their chairs. Funny. I can recall being that tired during morning performances when I was a student – both high school and college. There was a short Q & A afterwards, and then we did a sort of “master class” at 12:15 for a college arts and culture class; they were coming to the evening performance (it seemed that mostly the professors asked the questions, although a few students asked some questions).

There were no body mics at this venue – our first time without the mics; while there were three floor mics and some hanging mics, they are nothing like having a body mic, and we were really having to push our voices to reach an adequate level for the upper rows of the venue (it wasn’t a huge venue, but conversational level is not loud enough).  I MUCH prefer the body mic (those who have to change pants during the show say it’s a pain); for me, it’s hard to connect with the emotional journey of the mothers I’m playing if I am practically shouting. So that was my challenge during both these shows (and a challenge it turned out to be! Keep reading!).

After the “class,” we wanted to both eat and sleep; I couldn’t decide which one I wanted more, but the only choice was getting food on the way back to the hotel, which we did; after eating a late lunch, I worked on emails for about an hour to let the food settle, then got about an hour’s nap. Then back to the theatre at 5pm for a 6:30 show.

Here’s some info on how we as an ensemble, and I as an individual, prepare for the show.  I mentioned before that we all generally spend some time in the space, in our designated lighting spots and/or walking the stage or the auditorium, doing lots of vocal warm-ups  and going over monologues (honestly, it can sound a bit like a movie-version of an insane asylum). I like to hang in the yoga position “forward fold” to stretch my back and hamstrings, given all the standing we do on stage (and all the sitting in cars/planes we are doing).  We generally gather on the stage at about 15 minutes to house opening, get in a circle, and do some group tongue-twisters (such as, “To sit in solemn silence on a dull dark dock, awaiting the sensation of a short, sharp shock…” or “Whata to do, to die today, at a minute or two til two…” etc.), play an energizing/focus game (zip-zap-zop has been our go-to and favorite so far), then take hands and pulse around the circle with eyes closed, trying to get our breathing in sync. Finally, Chris leads us in putting all hands in the middle like a football team, and cheer the city we’re in (“I, 2, 3, WINONA!”), then he counts to four, and we all clap four in a row.  After the group stuff, we may still have half an hour before curtain; the bulk of the actors have iPods with a selection of music they use for the show.  I’ve often done this in the past, but didn’t bring any music this time. I make sure I’ve gone over each of my four mothers’ monologues before the show, as I’m pretty sure everyone else does, too (their own monologues, not mine, haha). 

Nick, Sean, Damian helping out during light and sound check

There is one additional thing that I and three other actors do every couple days:  There is one section in the full (95 minute) version which involves four of us actors coming forward together for a kind of “scene”  (all other monologues are single actors coming forward one at a time). While we still don’t look at each other while performing the “scene,” we are talking to each other through the letters, so it is different than all the other letters in that way. The “scene” is made up of a soldier who gets killed (Nick), his mother (me), and two of his commanding officers (Kevin & Sean) who communicate with his mother after his death.  This is one of my favorite parts of the show, because there is so much connection between the four of us: We gather in a circle in the half hour before the show, and say our monologues TO each other; we can look intently into each others’ eyes, we can grab hands and console, I can look at my “son” while I’m speaking of him or while he is being remembered to me by his commanding officers. Tears flow. Needless to say, it is extremely powerful for us, and fully prepares us for that connection we need when we can no longer look at each other, but say the same words during the performance.  Yesterday, before the evening show we did not gather like that, but Sean and I took a moment to just stand face to face, looking at each other, holding hands; the eye contact is so intense and just that moment of connection - coupled with all the previous preparation work we’ve done - causes my emotions to be extremely accessible and at the surface.  This is then recalled during performance, and it is so real, so effective, so powerful for the audience. Last night during this scene, the audience was right there with us on the journey, sniffling and nose-blowing as we told this one tiny bit of one person’s story and loss. It is so satisfying to play a part in moving people this way!

One more tidbit about preparation: When I started rehearsing for these monologues, I knew I’d have to do some background work, to develop some “memories” for the women I’m playing, and place myself into these “imaginary circumstances”: This is all work I learned and did this summer in my Act One Studios Meisner class. I ended up writing many pages for each of the four mothers, casting all my “sons” with real people from my own life, and developing memories for their childhoods, as well as the situations I talk about in the monologues.  This work helps me simplify the work, keep it honest, and keep it real for me in the moment.

HOWEVER, I do still stumble.  Last night’s performance was my first experience (outside of rehearsals) with completely losing my lines in one of my monologues; I was completely lost; I knew the “gist” of what I was supposed to talk about next, but couldn’t find the exact words; I made up some things.  I felt so naked and transparent, TERRIFIED; there was NO ONE TO SAVE ME! I had to get myself out of this, or just drowned alone.  I made up something about depression and this being a hard time (which was the “gist” I was aware of).  I threw in some lines that came to me and made up some more.  It felt like it went on forever! BUT – while a few cast mates noticed, others said they didn’t notice the new lines at all.  So that means the audience probably didn’t notice. WHEW! (A nice additional boon for me was, after the performance and talkback, while I was talking to a fellow actor from Chicago who had come to see a number of us she knew in the show, a woman who appeared to be 60-something, pointed at me through the folks to whom I was talking, and mouthed, “Wonderful! You were just…perfect.” Wow! Felt good.)

Two more things from the talkback: A retired Vietnam vet spoke up, saying he was really hesitant to see the show, as in his experience most of the time soldiers and war are represented in a negative light. He said this was “one of the most authentic representations” he had ever seen, and that it completely reflected his experience in the war. Anytime a vet speaks up, they are actively holding back their emotions just to express something that is so powerful, they must express it even through heavy emotions.  That means so much, to impact another human being like that! I later learned that he told other cast members that he lost his three brothers during Vietnam. Wow. 

In addition, a middle-aged or younger man spoke up to say his 19-year old son was in the service right now (overseas, I believe?), and that though his son is not in harm’s way at this time, he and his wife found this show extremely moving and of course, very difficult.

People are so willing to share in response to the show; it fills them up, and they spill over, needing to make a comment. It’s a beautiful thing.

Atlantic City is next, with a day and a half of rest this evening and tomorrow after two flights today (we got up at 4:30 am again!).  The rest is much needed for everyone.

MN sky again!

From Reno, NV to Klamath Falls, OR and back again

Beautiful landscape in California on the way to Oregon

I thought I’d be able to put in a little update everyday on this trip. Ha! I’m on the plane to MN via Dallas, so it’s a long day of flying, and trying to sleep is not going as smoothly as I had envisioned, so it gives me time to catch up.

Here’s what happened on days 8 – 11.

First, Brett and I have passed the first week of being apart and after my one meltdown in NV, I’m doing okay for now. Facetime on our new iPhones is still a tremendous blessing! I’m proud of Brett for supporting me so well, even though he wishes I were there.

Friday, Oct 29 (day 8):  We left our beautiful condos in the mountains in NV at 11 am, and drove the 7 hours to Klamath Falls, OR (it was supposed to be 5 hours but 11 people sometimes require numerous bathroom breaks, not to mention the desire to stop and take pictures, and the road work we encountered in the last hour!).  While our 2 vehicles have had constantly changing amalgams of the 11 of us throughout the trip, the same folks stayed in each of the two cars for this entire trip out to OR and back again; six of us in my Yukon, and five in Bill’s Suburban. 

It’s funny; Bill had all the all-American white males, while we had the diverse vehicle, which included not only the only three females in the cast, but also the two African-Americans, the two Jews, and the two gay men. When we learned that Klamath Falls is actually the headquarters of the KKK (not kidding!), we joked that it was all an evil plan of Bill’s to get rid of the women, gays, blacks, and Jews, while he and the four sturdy white, straight guys sailed off into the sunset (you just have to joke about these things, or you might get a little scared).

Kevin, looking over the scenery

The drive, though long, was extremely beautiful. tI was gorgeous and sunny. I wish I could have taken more pictures, but had my co-pilot Kevin take a few for me. There were long stretches between towns where we barely saw another vehicle; gives you a sense of how vast the stretches from settled place to settled place are. The curvy roads had really skinny lanes at times, and took a lot of my concentration, but I feel so blessed and grateful to be doing this driving: It is allowing (forcing) me to notice everything around me.  It is such a blessing, and – truth - driving that big vehicle fast on curvy roads is a rush!

Damian, striking a pose

Castmates, also taking loads of pictures.

Let me tell you about my riding in a car with my castmates (eventually I will introduce you to each one of them, but this is a nutshell of the trip to and from Oregon):  These vehicles had ports into which you could plug a USB, and everyone has iPods or iPhones with huge music libraries on them (strangely – since I’m a musician and singer - I don’t have even one note of music on my iPhone since it’s so new, so couldn’t offer anything). The amount of music I’m being introduced to is astounding. For the bulk of the trip, until the last couple hours of the drive home, I recognized only a handful of band names.  I can not believe that there is so much music I’ve never heard of, or in many cases, just never listened to.  Hip-Hop and Rap is a genre I’ve never listened to much at all, and I also don’t really listen to much of the more popular dance music (Rihanna, Gaga, Black Eyed Peas – all of whom I do know, but simply don’t buy their music or listen to the stations that play it).  But to me this trip is about being open to all the new experiences, and I am open to receiving it all. I am listening to lyrics and – as a songwriter and one who is often surrounded by songwriters who are discussing songwriting – I am being blown away by the poetry, the insight, the skill and craftsmanship at turning a phrase; I am loving the diversity. I do wish I had some of my stuff to add in, because the singer/songwriter, pop-folk, 80’s, 90’s alternative, and classic rock genres are not really being very represented in the mix; but I am enjoying the experience of hearing so much new stuff.

Can't. Stop. Taking. Pictures.

On the way out to OR we listened to a long playlist put together by Ellie & Nick, and on the trip back, we had three playlists from three different people (Kevin, Sean, & Lucy) – we started out with country for about two hours – that was really fun not only because I don’t listen to it much, but because everyone (all of these pop and hip-hop/rap aficionados) was so into it; it was an unexpected group “like.” Everyone agreed that it was absolutely the perfect music for the beginning of the trip, as we were going through farmlands. We then moved to a great mix of rap, hip-hop, Motown, and old-school dance stuff from the 80’s/90’s – when “Purple Rain” came on, I was back in college, remembering all the new and diverse music I was listening to at that time.  We ended with a little more rap (JayZ, OutKast, TuPac – the display listed every song and artist, so I got educated with each song, and felt my head swelling with all the information). What can I say? It’s all just fun and I feel full up with all the joy of those I’m with, and the broadened horizons.

The sunset in Klamath Falls, OR, upon our arrival

Back to point (sorry, this looks like a long one!): We arrived in OR later than we thought, checked into our hotel (the rooms have all been nice – spacious and clean with comfy beds), and felt lucky that food and entertainment were right across the parking lot, at the "Epicenter." It had a bowling alley, full bar/restaurant, and dance area. We ate while the World Series final game played (Congrats, Cards! Most of my castmates are rabid anti-Cardinals fans, btw!), then I stayed in while everyone else bowled and apparently caused quite the stir in wee little Klamath Falls, dancing like crazy while a DJ spun. I’m sorry I can’t do it all, I hate missing out; but it’s a delicate balancing act for me, to make sure I’m getting enough rest; that driving really takes it out of me.

Saturday, Oct 29 (Day 9): We had the whole morning free, and while I intended to work, I merely caught up on emails. Here’s a cool piece of news: I’ve been invited by Lookingglass Theatre to perform in January at a private fundraiser (75 – 100 cool peeps) at the LA home of David Schwimmer! I’ll be flown out and housed, and get to once again sing a bit of my beloved “Ilse,” which I played in April for the reading of the new work, “Eastland.” While I wasn’t cast in that part in the full production this coming summer (extremely sad face L ), I was given another part, and am honored to be asked to represent the role for this swanky fundraiser.

Our name in lights!

Anyhow, we went to the historic Ross Ragland Theatre in the afternoon to tech the show (cool Marquee, eh?!), then performed in the old, beautiful, historic theatre in the evening; it was a small (couple hundred), appreciative crowd, with a lively discussion afterwards (it’s a pretty conservative area politically, so when folks identified themselves as conservative or liberal, it got pretty interesting!).

Ross Ragland stage and audience (look at the box seats!) from stage left

Here’s some information on how tech works: We arrive, get taken in through the stage door usually (feels kind of special!), get taken to our (very nice, usually) his/her dressing rooms, and are shown a green room full of drinks and snacks. We get our costumes out of the luggage and hang them (I ironed mine too, since they had just been washed in NV, and the new fold lines needed ironing). Then while the stage is being measured and marked (we have specific spots to be in for the top and end of the show, and specific light spots for each monologue), most everyone is in the auditorium,
helping with marking the spots, or walking on the stage in their designated spots, or going over lines throughout the auditorium and on the stage. It’s pretty cool.

View of Ross Ragland stage from the upper seats

Ryan and Kevin marking the stage

Once the stage is all marked, we get our body mics on and do the soundcheck; everyone does a piece of a monologue, and any soundcues (fighter jets, music, other background sounds) are layered over the monologue. Once sound is set, we do “tops and bottoms”: This is to get us flowing through the entire show, from one monologue to the next with light cues: We each do the top line and the last line of each monologue, moving into the right spot when it’s time. It’s like “cue to cue” in theatre-speak.  It’s become a really smooth machine by this point; this tech was the smoothest yet.

The tech guys at these houses are amazing in how quick they can put this show together with the tech info Bill gives them. Bill “runs” the show, calling all the cues from backstage or in a booth, but the sound & light guys are fast and highly professional. It’s so great to be surrounded by such a high level of professionalism.

After tech we had some time to go back to the hotel and chill for about an hour or so; we returned to the theatre at 5:45 pm for an amazing home-cooked meal of baked chicken with some sort of really crispy (corn flake?) coating, mac-n-cheese (oh-lord-it-was-good), corn, salad, and Halloween-decorated cookies.  It was a bit of a heavy meal too close to the show for me, but did I NOT eat? Nope.  We finished make-up, did a final sound check, all gathered on stage for our group warm-up, then with a half an hour left, we did final preparations (I’m going to write about our warm-ups and pre-show preparation in the next entry b/c this is way too long, isn’t it? ;-).

The show went well; it didn’t feel as powerful for me as the previous show in AR, but each show is different and you can never recreate a previous show.  Just because I am not experiencing it in the way I envision, does not mean it is not effective for the audience.  So I was still satisfied with the show.

Afterwards, we went back to the hotel and went across the parking lot again to the Epicenter and bowled – it was fun! I haven’t bowled in so long, and surprisingly, I did not totally suck! We had two lanes, and somehow divided up by our “cars”: Clearly the higher-level of testosterone is in the other car, as they ended four frames ahead of us, with great scores compared to ours! They played an additional game while six of us left for the hotel; I had to go to bed knowing I had that long drive the next day; the others watched “Halloween” in someone’s room, while the remaining guys closed out the night in the bar again.

Sunday, October 30 (Day 10): We didn’t leave OR until noon, so a number of us went to work out in the gym which the hotel contracts with (given all the good – but rich! - and plentiful food we’re eating, it’s pretty essential to get some exercise in).  Throughout my time at the hotel, I had a number of conversations with the man working reception, Gary, after I found out he was a retired (though probably a few years younger than I) Marine. He was really pleasant and friendly, and talked about the legacy of Marines in his family (his dad and his granddad; and very probably, his teenaged son). He was going to see the show with his son, but ended up giving his ticket to his son’s girlfriend, so they could see it together. Needless to say, both his son and his son’s girlfriend had some strong, emotional reactions to it. Can you imagine being a young teenaged girl, anticipating your boyfriend’s probable enlistment in the Marines, and then seeing a show including real letters from young men just a few years older – some of whom did not end up making it home? I’m sure that sparked some conversation after the show. Gary said he really wants his son to enlist, to carry on the family tradition. When I asked how his wife feels, he said she does not want him to go; I can imagine this is a common but painful part of marrying into a family with a military tradition. Gary was so nice to share his time and conversation with me.

Amazing clouds surrounding the mountains.

We made it back to NV in only five hours (again, a beautiful, sunny drive), rested a bit after checking into the hotel, then hit the casino! Bill’s car played blackjack for over two hours and ALL of them lost everything (they didn’t know when to quit), while the rest of us got a little dressed up and had a nice Asian meal and fancy martini’s just a stone’s throw away from their blackjack table. We were back at the hotel by 9:30 pm and I was asleep by 10:30, due to the early morning the next day.

A Perfect Cluster of Clouds over the mountain

Ryan and Damian, choosing to eat cold soup from a can,
to save money on their per-diems. Crazies!

Monday, October 31 (Day 11): We got up at 4:30 am and checked out, got to the airport for our 7 am flight, and have been traveling since. Once we get to Minneapolis, we drive our rental cars two hours to Winona, have dinner, then tech the show at 8 pm. We have two shows tomorrow on Tues, 11/1, then a short overnight back in Minneapolis prior to leaving for New Jersey on Weds, 11/2.  More to come when I have a moment!

Ellie and Kevin at our fancy dinner at the casino

Me and Sean at our fancy dinner at the casino

Lucy and Nick at our fancy dinner at the casino

Reno/Incline Village, NV (overlooking Lake Tahoe)

Here's where the tour took us on Days 6 & 7:

Weds, 10/26 (Day 6): We left our Ft. Smith, AR hotel at 4:30 am (everyone was on time!), and flew the less-than-an-hour puddle jumper to Dallas. We ate a quick breakfast in the airport then flew the three hours to Reno, NV airport (thankfully, we all caught a bit of sleep on the plane). We arrived in Reno to a much colder, 31 degree day, and got our two rental vehicles: OH. MY. LORD. I was to drive a brand new, loaded, huge GMC Yukon: It is so huge that when I step out of the driver's seat, my feet don't touch the ground; I have to do a little hop. I was terrified at first, but it is so much fun, and I am handling this big beast pretty well.  Bill, the director, and I are the two drivers, and we need vehicles this big to handle 11 people and lots of luggage; at first I was a little worried about having this job, but I am really loving driving it.

And driving it HERE - in this heartstopping, breathtaking landscape - was an amazing experience! Those of us in my car on the drive had a collective experience of awe, all of us unable to stop sharing our wonder and gratitude for being able to experience this. We were literally high on the experience, and a few of us moved to tears. It was truly a bonding experience. While the pictures can absolutely NOT do it justice, it is still impossible to keep from snapping them at every turn!

Our view at about 8000 feet!

We started going down a bit after the climb; our condos are at about 6700 feet

So, the 11 of us (below is the picture of the entire cast and Bill, the director, before we left Chicago) are staying in 2 condos in Incline Village, NV, where from our balconies we can see a gorgeous view of Lake Tahoe and the sunset over it!

L to R - Ryan, Damian, Nick, Chris, Bill (Director), Kevin, Jeanne, Lucy, Sean, Ellie, Cameron

Looking West at Lake Tahoe, from our balcony

Bill, preparing one of the two fabulous meals he made for us;
Damian chopping onions.

 There are four bedrooms in each of the two condos, and most of us have our own room (two rooms are being shared) - which is a nice treat since we always double-up in the hotels. Also, 3 1/2 baths and kitchen/living area and W/D in each unit!

Chris in the living room

Sunset over Lake Tahoe

Dinner was a delicious chicken dish and bread pudding for dessert.

salad, polenta, and a dish of chicken stewed in ale and tomatoes
with carrots, prunes and thyme

Day 6 ended quite late, with much partying in the other condo (not the one I was sleeping in, which was probably good because I was the first to leave for bed, AND I heard this morning that there were a number of neighborly complaints about the noise); I went to bed at about 11:30 Western time (yes, that's 1:30 am Central!), while I know others probably stayed up another couple hours. I had a wee little  emotional breakdown when I went to bed, as I missed Brett so, so much. It was so late, I knew he was asleep so I didn't call him, but had a good cry, and then he surprised me by waking me at 5:30 am (7:30 am for him!), and we got to start our day together (we generally try to start it and end it together, and the addition of "facetime" with our new iPhones, has been a real blessing). In addition, there was a small earthquake! I felt a tremor shortly after I got into bed, though I didn't know what it was. I'm the only one in the group who felt it because everyone else was in the other condo, partying too hard to notice it; we heard about it on the news.

Good Morning!

Thurs, 10/27 (Day 7): Yesterday people got up throughout the morning and in my condo, a couple of the guys (Ryan and Damian) helped Bill make breakfast (scrambled eggs, bacon, toast) and I cleaned up. Three of the guys rented mountain bikes and reportedly had "one of the best day of their lives" doing some hard-core mountain-biking together. They even caught the major crash of the day on video (Cameron's helmet is trashed, his leg scraped up, but he is okay).  Most of the rest of us went on a hike for about an hour and a half.  Again, our breath was taken away by the scenery.

Sean, Lucy, Nick at the scenic overlook

Sean, starring as Spider Man, on the scenic overlook

Nick at the scenic overlook

Doesn't it look like a face?

I thought so, so I had to kiss it.

One of our walking paths

Ellie, Lucy, Sean, & Nick taking a water & snack break

Lucy and Sean and a little mountain snow

The Views!

The trees were glorious!

Kevin, taking in the scenery from a higher vantage point

Another sunset over Lake Tahoe

For dinner Bill made the most amazing lasagna known to man
and a delicious salad. Lucy and Ryan show how it's done.

Sean, Ellie, & Cameron getting at that lasagna!

Dessert - peach/raspberry crisp with ice cream.
Man! that Bill can cooookkk!

Today, Friday 10/28, we drive 5 hours to Klamath Falls, OR, and have a show tomorrow. Although I'm nursing a crazy headache from the altitude, I'm looking forward to more spectacular views during the drive!